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Written by Doug!!
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Eldora ski area 9,364’ Twice on the drive up ! had to use the flashers. ! backed out of the garage and realized ! had a flat. Two blocks to the air station to top them all off. After picking up a Starbucket of jitter juice it was still ok and ! was only 15 minutes late. So far. ! passed through flaky town and got on Canyon Rd. up to Nederland. Just as the shoulder narrowed down to 2’ ! noticed Amber was hanging over the side of the car dangling by her back wheel. Flashers again. ! probably should have locked the fork down. No damage. 16 miles of twisties later ! was pulling into the VIP lot a very long trek from transition and an even longer trek to the start. And ! really needed to pee which ! did once ! got my transition set up, talked to Patrick and Big Al then waited in line for three months or so. As this is a short race for an Xterra they added in a long walk down to sea level for the swim. Sea level here is 100’ lower than transition level. The water was biting cold. We were to bring running shoes and put them in the designated squares scratched in the dirt. The designating markings were obscured by all the activity so ! designated a spot for my shoes and cooking spray. Once the wetsuit was stretched over me ! waded in. My coaches, Ben and Jerry, are freakin’ geniuses. Once the water was deeper than ! was (Rick the Clydesdale was still walking) the extra fuel they had me archive kept me floating with my chin just above the surface. The web site says the lake is 30’ deep nearly everywhere. Seems like overkill since ! only swim in the top 3’ anyways. We did a time trial start so ! was off about 2:08 after Rick the Clydesdale. We queued up on the spit and waded into the lake on command. By the time ! made it to 12 inches deep ! had fallen twice. It wasn’t 30’ everywhere. There were people walking quite a ways out. Between the 1st and 2nd buoys ! plowed through a field of seaweed. Just like being in the grocery down in boulder. ! supposed ! was closer to the bottom there. Then ! felt the rock. It was too slimy to get a good push off of. Then another. Round the lake to the exit flags. This race was designed for clambering. A group of formerly dry and odor-free volunteers stood over the clamberers offering a hand up. That’s just for the weak. ! clambered unaided and found my shoes to begin the 5k to T1. We gained back that 100’ of elevation on that long traipse. Latex wrapped ! moved for way more than the traditional 15 minutes. In fact it took so long ! began to lose interest. T1 was higher up like ! said, but they had thickened the air with dust. As ! strapped on my helmet ! spied Rick the Clydesdale mounting his new soft tail just out of transition. ! hadn’t lost too much time on the swim. ! lost time trying to get my wetsuit off. It and ! had had a bonding experience on the molecular level. ! had to promise to place it near another wetsuit while ! was away. That ride was all uphill except for the downhill sections that came up on occasion. The descents were rough and ragged and the hard tail had way too much air in her tires. My forearms were pumped up from squeezing the brakes to keep Amber in line. There didn’t seem to be much air around ! noticed. ! managed to pass a dude on a climb who said ! was an awesome climber. Rick the Clydesdale knew just what ! would have said if !’d had the energy. “no dude, you just suck”. Patrick had passed by long before then. Let me tell you about Patrick. Patrick Birthright descended from a long line of firstborn sons. This was his first tri ever. EVER. An Xterra up above the Oxygen level. He just joined the club a few weeks ago and swims a few lanes slower than me. He had chain suck issues a couple times then jacked his derailleurs. Then he ran. He told me he didn’t think he would be able to run when he rode by me. He finished 30 minutes ahead of me even though ! had gotten him an invite to Sheri’s b’day cruiser party. There was a chick in front of me on the bike who had biffed already. The dust really accentuated her curves. ! felt bad about passing her. ! was doing well most of the way through before ! had my only involuntary dismount wherein ! put one elbow on the ground inside Amber’s main triangle. Finally a long, somewhat smooth descent to T2. That run was advertised as 6.8 miles European. ! had calculated that out to about 4 real miles. ! can do that. ! was going to run all but the aid stations and some of the steep climbs. It wasn’t too bad. ! just kept going. Closing in on the finish they told me it was only 3 city blocks to the end. Yeah, but how far is it to the nearest city block. ! sort of sprinted across the line. Rick the Clydesdale and Big Al were already packed and chatting. ! couldn’t get over to them. Mobbed by fans. You know how it is. Big Al lost by 40 seconds. Patrick 15th in his age group. Rick the Clydesdale was 25th in his age group as was !. Results here http://www.myentryfee.com/results/Results.aspx That night was Sheri’s cruiser b’day party. She spent the whole night in her birthday suit. ! didn’t know she had a belly button ring. ! got to drink beer, play with fire, look at girls and ride my bike. ! wonder why Denny didn’t make it. We headed to Cherry Cricket to do body shots and get rowdier. Then it was off to the dive bar known as Don’s. Sheri managed to get bounced out of there pretty quick. Don’t mess with her. Off to yet another bar, still wondering why Denny wasn’t there. Sheri wanted to karaoke. Too late and the cop was giving us the eye. Four hours later the sun was up.
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